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October Releases

Monday, March 21, 2011

Movie Review: Red Riding Hood (2011)


Valerie (Seyfried) is a beautiful young woman torn between two men. She is in love with a brooding outsider, Peter (Fernandez), but her parents have arranged for her to marry the wealthy Henry (Irons). Unwilling to lose each other, Valerie and Peter are planning to run away together when they learn that Valerie's older sister has been killed by the werewolf that prowls the dark forest surrounding their village. For years, the people have maintained an uneasy truce with the beast, offering the creature a monthly animal sacrifice. But under a blood red moon, the wolf has upped the stakes by taking a human life. Hungry for revenge, the people call on famed werewolf hunter, Father Solomon (Oldman), to help them kill the wolf. But Solomon's arrival brings unintended consequences as he warns that the wolf, who takes human form by day, could be any one of them. As the death toll rises with each moon.


    Well no beating around the bush here, I hated this movie. This is the perfect example of crap on film. I was already skeptical since it looks like Twilight's older sister, but man, I at least expected something to make sense. But nothing did. I wasn't even sure I should write a review for this, I watched this last Wednesday. I was just debating it all this time. I wasted money on this instead of following my gut. I feel a responsibility to save others who think this maybe worth it.

     This movie is a girl named Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) who is in love with a guy named Peter (Shiloh Fernandez). They make plans to leave since Valerie has been arranged to marry someone else named Henry (Max Irons). But plans get interrupted when Valerie's sister gets brutally murdered by the werewolf the town has been trying to be safe from. This was within the first 10 minutes of the movie and I was already pissed because Valerie is sad for a few minutes then gets even more sad when she finds out her sister was suppose to marry Henry and didn't tell her. I was like, "Who cares? She is dead now." And that was the end of that. That was a common thing about this movie. If someone dies, less than a handful of people grieve and it lasted for two seconds. Then they go back to the "romance".

   There were so many dumb little things about this movie, I wanted to leave as soon as possible. Like I said, there were things that didn't make sense. For instance, one scene that was dumb and pointless was when Father Solomon (Gary Oldman) came into town. I am not sure how or why he ended up in the town for the werewolf, but he did. He was there to battle and kill the thing, but he brought his kids with him. I was so confused. Forgive me if I am wrong, but when people are going to battle, why bring your kids to scare them for for a minute and then send them back home? Then he goes to tell this story about how he killed his wife to save her from becoming a werewolf. He kept the hand he chopped off from the werewolf and put it in a box. Thing is that happened 20 years ago and the hand still had flesh on it. What?! Man Gary Oldman, what is up with you? You are literally one of two actors that has played Dracula to perfection (the other being the original Bela Lugosi) and now this is where you are? Are you going through some sort of crisis or something? Snap out of it!

   And just like Twilight this movie focuses on the romance over everything else. The romance was ridiculous. Valerie wants Peter, but her mom doesn't like him. So he tries to part from her so she can have Henry. There is one scene where he is dancing with another girl and Valerie does this little flirty, part lesbian dance with another friend in front of Peter and the dancing at times was modern, which didn't make sense. There were actually a lot of parts in this movie where it seemed it couldn't remember exactly what time it was in. Not to mention Peter's hair. I mean everyone at least looked like they fit into the time and age of the movie, but Peter was the only one who had a modern, perfectly gelled, almost faux hawk. It was obvious him and Edward Cullen use the same hair care products. I just had to laugh.

   A little side note here. What the hell were Colonel Tigh (Michael Hogan) and Dr. Daniel Jackson (Michael Shanks) doing in this movie?! For anyone that knows there sci-fi, theses names should be familiar to you. Battlestar Galactica and Stargate SG-1 stars people. These guys are no stranger to great supernatural/sci-fi action and to see them in this movie nearly killed me.

 The movie even tries to trick you with who the werewolf is and in the end, they don't explain why. The ending was one of the dumbest things I've seen. The way they kill the werewolf was odd and stupid. I try not to spoil anything for anyone no matter how bad it is, but just take my word for it, the final blow was so dumb, I laughed.

  I honestly don't know why I wasted money on this, but I did and I regret the hell out of it. This is what happens when you don't check the movie times before you go to the theater and only one movie is available at the correct time. There were so many little things about it, I could vent forever, but that might be a book's worth. Nonetheless, I am not talking about this movie anymore, just letting you know it isn't worth it. There was no soul to it. It felt just hashed together by a bunch of teenagers girls. If you want a silly supernatural soap opera, this is your movie.


Rating:
 Not worth the time.

3 comments:

  1. Well this girl is not wasting the time to go watch this movie! LOL...although it does worry me that you gave I Am Number Four two starts which is only one little star above this one...eek!

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  2. Trust me, 1 star means hate it and I wanted to leave. I at least liked I Am Number Four. I didn't feel like running away. But don't watch this, it was just...blah :(

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  3. Haha, good to know! That confirms my suspision and not wanting to watch the movie right away. Eek. Maybe I'll give it a chance when it comes out on DVD through NetFlix! :-P

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Due to the daily spam comments I have been getting lately and to avoid the annoying word verification, Anonymous comments are no more. I do not want bargains on bags, watches, jerseys, boots and other crap. Geez, they could at least spam me with book and movie stuff, I would be somewhat interested LOL! Thank you :D